The Departure..


Came to Bangalore on 14th at 430 in the morning from Shimoga, Karnataka. I was on a 2 day trip to that place.I was all excited to meet my parents and my uncle who accompanied me was all enthusiastic to see his brother,who’s my father. He was ailing since a long time. He was bed-ridden due to the chemotherapy side-effect. He had lost his speech,n his every ability to be on his own,suffering every moment : living a life of death every moment. Me, Harshavardhana, my brother Sudarshan, n my mother took care of him every second that passed by hoping his recovery, hoping for the past old days of joys n smiles to return.We alighted the train and got into an auto and  came home with medicines which we believed it could cure my dad some day.

at 5 : 00 in the morning we came home. My house was illuminated with all the lights, much to our amazement. All my cousins were home, all had a weird sad mask on their faces,my bro was stern and aunts’ eyes were drowned in tears. My aunt told : ”we couldn’t save him” n pointed at my dad. I was shocked. Uncle ran towards my dad – shakin my dad’s body violently to wake him up. I didn’t realise what had happened. Few moments later, i realised that my beloved father was no more. I was shocked. I didn’t cry. I didn’t know what to do. Long had we prepared for his death, but we still couldn’t save him. Its only after an hour and half that my cheeks felt the wetness, my eyes was swollen up with tears..i couldn’t fight it any more, i cried..

Next thing I did was call up the person closest to my heart, Harshith. I called up his landline but no-one answered. Then his cell, he cut the call. I messaged him the matter, he called me back. I cried so much. I dint know how to tell this to Shivani,my dear gal. I told Harshith to tell her and to my other friends as well which he did it promptly. The worst day of my life was about to unfold with my dearest man lying dead infront of me.

People were informed about this misfortune. They kept coming. Tears were countless, they kept flowing down the people who were there. Dad’s clients, college friends, high school friends, his teachers, his professional friends – all paid their final respects for what a man he was. He didn’t deserve anything less than what he got at the end. Shops were closed down until the body was taken. They told that’s what they can do for some1 like that. I felt proud. He’s at peace somewhere, released of his pains, struggles,free to roam everywhere he wants to but I know he’s always in this house, where he was born, where he died, where he always belongs to. People were glad his sons were old enough to take up the responsibility of this house but they never realized how important a dad is to his sons I think..if he was still alive, like always, I would still be next to him taking care of him. Being bed-ridden doesn’t matter, having a father does. I miss u dad..

at 1030, the final rites began. Being orthodox Brahmins, everything was started as planned. Everything was done by 1130. People present offered him the final food, rice. The hearse van arrived and we loaded my dad into it. Everyone had a final look at him, I dint dare look at my mom. Her beautiful face had faded like a fallen flower. She looked terrible. We then set off for the crematorium at 1145. Sittin next to my dad, we left on his Final Journey.

crematorium was peaceful, we drove in. I was reluctant to unload my dad for his pyre was ready to consume my dad. wWe finished the duty which was supposed to be done and laid him on the pyre. All his friends were present to witness their beloved friend pass into nothingness. We set the timber on him and set the pyre into flames. I felt satisfaction; my brother started to cry : ”i want my father back”. Men can do nothing for such departures. Nothing can bring him back for his time was over and he went to where he belonged to. No power of men how much ever incredible it is could stop him leaving. He went, never to return again.

The flames engulfed his body, burning merrily, consuming my dad every second as I watched my father burn nothing was more painful than this. I felt like crying but i won’t deny that  I was relieved to release him from this nasty world where his friends deserted him when he fell ill. They wanted him when he was all powerful n influential and when he fell to the bed, none came to him. He was depressed but he went peacefully and that is all that matters.

on 15th…we collected the ashes of my father from the pyre, did some pooja to it and went to the sacred city of Srirangapatnam through which the river Kaveri flows. As per the rituals, the ashes should be offered to the east-flowin river and river Kaveri’s sacred for such purposes. We offered him and sent him down the river perhaps to the Heaven to rest with his Fathers. All his sufferings  ended…but I lost my father.

Father, I wrote this for u..

 

 

crying for you is above everything else we cry for..

tears flow like there’s no end to it..

days get longer…feelings r drowned in sorrow..

emotions r nowhere to be seen around..Lost they r..

 

Darkness took over the life..nothing stopping it..

life shattered into the vast nothingness..

never to return again to the loved ones..who

are drenched in tears of grief…never..

 

memories of the old days..keeps returning to haunt..

good ol’ days where the world was a better place

everything seems so uncertain now..so uncertain..

that my world itself collapsed within seconds..

 

men live n pass..gifted with mortality..

which makes every moment beautiful..

when death visits..mortality is Doom..

which all men r bound to enjoy…

Miss u father..I’ll live the way u had, with love n care towards all…

 

Rest In Peace.

 

Your beloved son,

Harshavardhana Sharma

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    • vidya
    • April 7th, 2011

    I am spell bound, Harsha. I’m speechless and left in tears. I’m sorry about the whole thing – well, sometimes I wonder why we feel sorry at the loss of beloved ones. Its of course, because of the emotional attatchment but if you look at it with another perspective…you’d rather feel proud about being associated with such a wonderful person, why then, feel sorry? He was not immortal anyway,none of us are…

    Cherish every moment you lived with him,whether sorrowful or joyous doesnot really matter. You got to outlive him and fill in for him…life is beautiful, we just have to accept that in deed is…make the most of it, Harsha. All the best for all your endeavours !

    • Roshini Vijayakumar
    • April 12th, 2011

    Your father is more than a hundred teachers!. Any man can be a father.It takes someone special to be a dad!!. Make him proud buddy!. 🙂 *hugs*

    • Ambika Bharadwaj
    • January 9th, 2013

    U have just left me in tears by posting this incident !! its heart rendering…..!!
    As even i have gone through similar situation, i can very well understand it. Anyways take care of urself nd ur family…!!

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